Freedom From Anger, Fear, and Hatred to Break Creating New Child Abuse/Neglect Life Chapters

IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG POST (Child Abuse PTSD Survivor: Never Thought That I Would Be Healed and Changed (Intro: Part Two), I SHARED WITH YOU THE FACT THAT I HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, a spiritual experience resulting in practical application after reading a passage in a chapter of a book, The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox, that had been recommended to me a number of months prior to when I began struggling with an issue. In this post, I'm going to share with you the problem I was facing at the time, and the passage that changed me.

ONE DAY IN AUGUST 2015, I WAS CHECKING THE CONNECTION REQUESTS ON LINKEDIN. One was from a man who had a considerable amount of experience as an author, editor, writer, and co-founder of one of the top fantasy/sci-fi festivals in the United States. I had made some great connections via LinkedIn: one that resulted in my becoming a partner in and a development executive for a production company based in London, England, and another that had me working as a producer for an original supernatural-drama television script.

IMMEDIATELY, I ACCEPTED THE CONNECTION REQUEST, AND SENT HIM A MESSAGE that included some information about seeking a producer, production company or studio for an original period-drama-suspense-thriller TV series that I originated and co-created. My partner and I had recently passed on the offer by another company to produce it. He wanted to know more. I sent him the script, and he expressed interest in helping us package it and get it to his contacts in the entertainment industry, including people with whom he is currently working. We scheduled a meeting. Great!

I DECIDED TO DO SOME MORE RESEARCH ON HIS BACKGROUND. WHAT I DISCOVERED STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS. He was convicted of molesting three boys, had served jail time, and was currently serving out the rest of his sentence at his home due to health issues. I read news accounts and pages and pages of hate-filled comments about him, and read his account citing his innocence but pleading guilty to avoid a trial due to health reasons.

MY FIRST INCLINATION WAS TO JUST FADE AWAY HAVING NO FURTHER CONTACT, join the hatefest, and to focus on other connections that were promising. No problem. The next day, I continued reading The Sermon on the Mount. Here is the excerpt of what I read that led to a wave of compassion, a reckoning with my own child abuse past that resulted in sexual feelings and acting on them until the age of 12; a renewal of gratitude for the miraculous removal of the inappropriate feelings and behavior by my Creator; a renewed commitment to God concerning the intent of this blog; in short, an epiphany.

"AND SO JESUS SAYS THAT IF, WHEN WE ARE ABOUT TO PRAY, OR REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE ANY WRONG THOUGHTS or hard feelings about our brother man, no matter who he may be, and irrespective of whether the object of our hostile thought be an individual or a body of people, we must pause there and treat ourselves until we have got rid of this sense of hostility, and have once more restored the seamless garment of our spiritual integrity."

So, Jesus provides three (3) clear statements for achieving our spiritual integrity:

• He says first, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger.

• Second, that to be really or seriously--one may say vindictively--hostile to another, is to be in grave danger.

• Third, that to hold so low an opinion of a fellow creature, as to allow ourselves to consider him outside the pale, so to speak, is to shut ourselves off from any hope of spiritual fruit while we remain in this state of mind. 

I COULDN'T STOP CRYING. AS A CHILD ABUSE SURVIVOR, AND ONE WHO HAS EVERY REASON to be full of gratitude and compassion but was ready to continue punishing someone who was already judged and serving his sentence, Godd revealed to me in that moment my own shortcomings as a Christian, or simply, as a human and spiritual being still growing and evolving to become better.

WAS I READY TO HAVE MY FEAR OF THE ANGER AND HATRED IN WHICH OTHER PEOPLE ENGAGE and might even direct toward me removed, and do as Jesus directed in the passage? Was I prepared to write new posts on this blog while connected to a higher form of consciousness to try to help those who are still sick and suffering slaves to the cycle of child abuse, some in deep denial, and obsessive and compulsive against their will? Honestly, I can't say that I was at all. I didn't have the personal courage or strength. Somehow, like in the past, The Creator's power activated within me. All the credit goes to my Creator (who through a human source introduced me to Emmet Fox's book), AND all of you who have supported this blog and it's intent.

Image Credit:
http://interfaithspirit.org/

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE. WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS TO RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY--WHETHER YOU ARE AGNOSTIC OR ATHEIST. My prayer and hope is that if you are stuck in the cycle of PTSD and/or other MENTAL ILLNESS due to the traumatic effects of child abuse/neglect; are an adult attracted to children; have abused/neglected children in the past; are currently abusing/neglecting children, are thinking of abusing/neglecting children, are addicted to child pornography, or any other hurtful activity--that you are willing to go to ANY LENGTHS to permanently stop the insanity.

IF IT WERE POSSIBLE TO BE CHANGED BY SIMPLY READING The Sermon on the Mount, even just as an experiment, won't you do it? I will believe for you, that you will take this step. It can't hurt.

I VISION THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE TO RETURN HERE to discover more potential solutions for you as I research, explore and share my findings. I wish you and anyone else affected by child abuse and neglect--FREEDOM from a traumatic past, present and future.

BLESS YOU, and please continue to play, listen, share, fan, arrange, mash-up, and produce All My Life (any version) plus like, tweet, and promote this blog and it's content. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.



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Top Visitors/Countries (Last 7 Days)
 
1) United States - Welcome!
2) Slovakia - Vitaj!
3) Germany - Willkommen!
4) Ireland - Fáilte!
5) France - Bienvenue!

Child Abuse PTSD Survivor: Never Thought That I Would Be Healed and Changed (Intro: Part Two)

I HAD WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING OR EXPERIENCE LAST YEAR, after reading a chapter in the book, Sermon On The Mount by Emmett Fox that was recommended to me (stay tuned for more specifics about this in a future post). At the time it occurred, I was thinking about and struggling with how best to be of loving service, and inclusive of ALL the people affected by child abuse to which this music project is dedicated. This includes everyone who has abused, is currently abusing, or is thinking about abusing children.

AS MY CREATOR OFTEN DOES WHEN I PRAY, MEDITATE, OR ASK FOR A SOLUTION, a situation is presented to me that brings me face-to-face with my own personal integrity, absolute truth, or perhaps hypocrisy and fear (more about this in another post) so I can learn, grow and claim healing through using conflicts as allies or medicine. Had I truly been healed of my anger, resentment and hatred (of my abusers and self) and would take more personal action to inspire change, or was I just speaking and writing airy nothing words, and perhaps, I'd been deluding myself?

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” -- Socrates

THIS "INTRO: PART TWO" POST IS MY SECOND STEP IN HONORING THE MIRACLE (one of many) that the Creator has accomplished so that I can be a channel for what I am calling "Christ Consciousness" or "Higher Consciousness" for those who are still suffering the affects of child abuse by being slaves to an uncontrollable mental, emotional, physical and spiritual sickness, acting it out over-and-over-and-over again with children. (Read Intro: Part One)

IN BRIEF, LET ME SHARE THAT MY PAST INCLUDES MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SEXUAL ABUSE by two adults--a male and a female (independent of one another though they knew one another well) who were supposed to be taking care of me (at the ages of 3-5). I developed Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD); addiction disease symptoms, problems and harmful behaviors; and deep, intrinsic voids, dead zones, and "imprints" in my soul and spirit that were underlying it all.

BECAUSE I HAD LOTS OF LOVE FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS in my childhood as well (let's call it some form of counter-balance) and angel protectors, I never had to confront or deal with jails, institutions, death (though I did attempt suicide once after the death of my mother in 1979).

PROBLEMS RESPECTING BOUNDARIES, OBSESSIONS, AND COMPULSIONS ARE PART OF MY STORY, but for some reason (many say through the grace of God), my obsessive and compulsive issues over which I had no control did not result in abusing children (though I did act out the sexual behavior I was taught as an abused child with other children until I was 12-years-old).

THOUGH I HAD MEMORIES OF ABUSE FROM THE WOMAN, I HAD SUPPRESSED the abuse from the male (except for some shadow scenes). As life would have it, I was offered work as a Child Protective Service Manager by a friend of my mom's after her death. I worked for a few years in the Sex Abuse Unit, and then left due to the stress, and from fear of becoming cynical and hating the job as I observed in some of the career professionals.

I NEED TO WRAP UP THE SECOND PART OF THIS INTRODUCTION NOW, but wanted to give you some information to connect with and consider as I begin writing posts that share more of what influenced this decision, my personal history, challenges, plus innovative potential, and tried-and-true solutions to end child abusive behavior. As much as I can, I hope to share resources through research and interviews that provide access to successful solutions. Also, I will be sharing by storytelling (short stories, flash fiction, films, TV, other media), and inspirational quotes. The promise I made to Godd is that I will share the healing blessings I have claimed with those who still suffer--children of ALL ages.

THE JOURNEY TO HEALING BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP. This is another step among so many that I've taken in my own journey. If you are abusing or planning to act out on your obsession, consider that it's your turn to begin, or take another (or different step) as well.

“Love has no antithesis. Hate isn't the opposite of Love. Hate is anger that escalates forming an imprint in the soul.” -- The Creator  

MY SINCERE, HEARTFELT THANK YOU, to all of you who have supported this blog since I created it in 2009. I am a recipient of the tremendous amount of solution energy generated, and I don't know what else I can say because I am overwhelmed with gratitude to be a recipient.

BLESS YOU, and please continue to play, listen, share, fan, arrange, mash-up, and produce All My Life (any version) plus like, tweet, and promote this blog and it's content. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

Top Sites Playing & Sharing the Heal Child Abuse Music Project (May 2009-March 2016)

These are the all time stats for the Top Sites supporting the Reach 4 Freedom: Heal Child Abuse Music Project since it was launched in May 2009 to March 2016.

You continue to answer the call to play the music and share the music to generate loving energy dedicated to this vital collective and collaborative purpose.

These stats represent volts/charges of electromagnetic and creative consciousness energy for our collective purpose.

#1) ReverbNation.com: 51,240
All time totals: Profile visits (6,797) | Song plays at ReverbNation (3,287) | Registered fans via ReverbNation, Facebook, Twitter (3,156)  | Video Plays (46) | Banner impressions and Widget players on three different sites - http://healchildabuse.blogspot.com, http://healingartiststudio.blogspot.com, http://facebook.com/oliver.valerie (37,954)

#2) YouTube | Arnaud Quercy Jazz Project: 13,543
All time views.

#3) IMRadio.com: 27,173
All time totals.

#4) Reach 4 Freedom Blog: 21,689
All time total pageviews.

#5) SoundCloud.com: 3,531
All time totals for all versions of All My Life (2,024) including song plays, favorites, and downloads.

GRAND TOTAL (May 2009-March 2016): 117,200 (Rounded up)



Note:
Stats that are not available are: 1) Plays and downloads of All My Life on the the Serve When Chilled: Sunset Soaked Grooves international compilation album produced by Generation Me-X Entertainment (Big shout out to Sean "Unda" Carter, Producer) and 2) plays and downloads on ccMixter of All My Life by Briareus (Nu Jazz & Ambient Remixes) and Valerie Michele Oliver (original acapella) tracks.

From my heart and spirit to yours, thank you!

Top Visitors/Top Countries to this Blog (Last 7 Days)

1) United States - Welcome!
2) Germany - Willkommen!
3) Ireland - Fáilte!
4) United Arab Emirates - Marhaba!
5) France - Bienvenue!

"All My Life" is #1 on the ReverbNation Local Region Jazz Chart!

"All My Life" (Nu-Jazz) remains #1 on the ReverbNation Local-Regional Jazz Chart, the Top 1200 on the National Jazz Chart, and the Top 2000 on the Global Jazz Chart! Thanks to everyone who keeps playing, sharing, producing and arranging this music that is part of the Reach 4 Freedom: Heal Child Abuse Music Project--an energy generating project dedicated to healing child abuse in the world. ♥ IMAGINE no more child abuse.

PLAY "All My Life" (NuJazz, Produced/Arranged by Briarus)