IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG POST
(Child Abuse PTSD Survivor: Never Thought That I Would Be Healed and Changed (Intro: Part Two), I SHARED WITH YOU THE FACT THAT I HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, a spiritual experience resulting in practical application after reading a passage in a chapter of a book,
The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox, that had been recommended to me a number of months prior to when I began struggling with an issue. In this post, I'm going to share with you the problem I was facing at the time, and the passage that changed me.
ONE DAY IN AUGUST 2015, I WAS CHECKING THE CONNECTION REQUESTS ON LINKEDIN. One was from a man who had a considerable amount of experience as an author, editor, writer, and co-founder of one of the top fantasy/sci-fi festivals in the United States. I had made some great connections via LinkedIn: one that resulted in my becoming a partner in and a development executive for a production company based in London, England, and another that had me working as a producer for an original supernatural-drama television script.
IMMEDIATELY, I ACCEPTED THE CONNECTION REQUEST, AND SENT HIM A MESSAGE that included some information about seeking a producer, production company or studio for an original period-drama-suspense-thriller TV series that I originated and co-created. My partner and I had recently passed on the offer by another company to produce it. He wanted to know more. I sent him the script, and he expressed interest in helping us package it and get it to his contacts in the entertainment industry, including people with whom he is currently working. We scheduled a meeting. Great!
I DECIDED TO DO SOME MORE RESEARCH ON HIS BACKGROUND. WHAT I DISCOVERED STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS. He was convicted of molesting three boys, had served jail time, and was currently serving out the rest of his sentence at his home due to health issues. I read news accounts and pages and pages of hate-filled comments about him, and read his account citing his innocence but pleading guilty to avoid a trial due to health reasons.
MY FIRST INCLINATION WAS TO JUST FADE AWAY HAVING NO FURTHER CONTACT, join the
hatefest, and to focus on other connections that were promising. No problem. The next day, I continued reading
The Sermon on the Mount. Here is the excerpt of what I read that led to a wave of compassion, a reckoning with my own child abuse past that resulted in sexual feelings and acting on them until the age of 12; a renewal of gratitude for the miraculous removal of the inappropriate feelings and behavior by my Creator; a renewed commitment to God concerning the intent of this blog; in short, an epiphany.
"AND SO JESUS SAYS THAT IF, WHEN WE ARE ABOUT TO PRAY, OR REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE ANY WRONG THOUGHTS or hard feelings about our brother man, no matter who he may be, and irrespective of whether the object of our hostile thought be an individual or a body of people, we must pause there and treat ourselves until we have got rid of this sense of hostility, and have once more restored the seamless garment of our spiritual integrity."
So, Jesus provides three (3) clear statements for achieving our spiritual integrity:
He says first, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger.
Second, that to be really or seriously--one may say vindictively--hostile to another, is to be in grave danger.
Third, that to hold so low an opinion of a fellow creature, as to allow ourselves to consider him outside the pale, so to speak, is to shut ourselves off from any hope of spiritual fruit while we remain in this state of mind.
I COULDN'T STOP CRYING. AS A CHILD ABUSE SURVIVOR, AND ONE WHO HAS EVERY REASON to be full of gratitude and compassion but was ready to continue punishing someone who was already judged and serving his sentence, Godd revealed to me in that moment my own shortcomings as a Christian, or simply, as a human and spiritual
being still growing and evolving to become better.
WAS I READY TO HAVE MY FEAR OF THE ANGER AND HATRED IN WHICH OTHER PEOPLE ENGAGE and might even direct toward me removed, and do as Jesus directed in the passage? Was I prepared to write new posts on this blog while connected to a higher form of consciousness to try to help those who are still sick and suffering slaves to the cycle of child abuse, some in deep denial, and obsessive and compulsive against their will? Honestly, I can't say that I was at all. I didn't have the personal courage or strength. Somehow, like in the past, The Creator's power activated within me. All the credit goes to my Creator (who through a human source introduced me to Emmet Fox's book), AND all of you who have supported this blog and it's intent.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE. WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS TO RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY--WHETHER YOU ARE AGNOSTIC OR ATHEIST. My prayer and hope is that if you are stuck in the cycle of PTSD and/or other MENTAL ILLNESS due to the traumatic effects of child abuse/neglect; are an adult attracted to children; have abused/neglected children in the past; are currently abusing/neglecting children, are thinking of abusing/neglecting children, are addicted to child pornography, or any other hurtful activity--that you are willing to go to ANY LENGTHS to permanently stop the insanity.
IF IT WERE POSSIBLE TO BE CHANGED BY SIMPLY READING
The Sermon on the Mount, even just as an experiment, won't you do it? I will believe for you, that you will take this step. It can't hurt.
I VISION THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE TO RETURN HERE to discover more potential solutions for you as I research, explore and share my findings. I wish you and anyone else affected by child abuse and neglect--FREEDOM from a traumatic past, present and future.
BLESS YOU, and please continue to play, listen, share, fan, arrange, mash-up, and produce
All My Life (any version) plus like, tweet, and promote this blog and it's content. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.
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